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Come Home

by Steven Leftovers

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1.
when you work to heal remember nothing is painless after death when you return remember nothing is painless and even i audit stars for fun cause nothing is painless i drag sharp blood earn the struggle nothing is painless and i’m sorry you tried to explain it but at least you didn’t succeed and i’m sorry you looked for an explanation but at least it wasn’t found
2.
have something with me maybe it's a bet, maybe it's a space within which we'll one day fall together and end up crushed, like shells from the beach that were never meant to be together put in such a way that clean me out like the gutters resemble one another that's the way we'll spiral down that's the way you'll stick around clean me out like the gutters resemble one another that's the way we'll spiral down that's the way you'll stick around like glue i cannot touch you but i know you're there it's easier when you're in the air you covered in dust needing some repair, being neglected instead i'm doing just fine cause when they never see you, even in the blackest of clouds i'll always see you clean me out like the gutters resemble one another that's the way we'll spiral down that's the way you'll stick around step slowly and sure getting from the closet to the toilet where you can fall headfirst we all know what we we've done and your ghastly image is the final gun
3.
Train 04:35
we don’t have any more directions to follow we made all the mistakes we could we let it sit in the sun for too long we couldn’t touch it but we know we should’ve you might have seen us on TV we’re the ones that’ll eat you up we like to swallow whole it’s time to go it won’t seem bad to take it slow but please don’t say good bye but please don’t say good bye
4.
Math 05:54
Dear Sally don't miss me i never loved you anyway i'm busy don't call me but try to find me astray Dear Billy why would we concern ourselves with the fate of something so pretty yet we feel nothing but shame Dear Sally i have these loud, angry thorns in my ears they like to talk to me and i can't say i hate em Dear Billy im lost now because i never learned and you were right all along too bad you'll never be heard
5.
Return 04:12
bring it im ready to bear witness to the tear of the century with light opening up these eyes aint enough the dogs are not in this fight it aint for the might i'm staring in a crystal ball i'm hoping i'm called embalmed needing justice in the core x2 maybe just a little more i'm not backing off i'm not here to stop i just want to watch you fight embalmed needing justice in the core x2 maybe just a little more thank you these goals you have left the art of regret and i meant for you to play us like a ball x2 i still see you deep in my dreams these holes in the seams i met you my drowning in bliss pray god we don't miss embalmed needing justice in the core x2 maybe just a little more i'm not backing off i'm not here to stop i just want to watch you fight ready return to the moon watch you all crumble to dust
6.
Headrush 05:08
imm going to tell you imm going to tell you about an organ now a organ stacked full of blue, with seas of gray and branches and vines that cut through its nearest enemies i don't remember the last time i won a battle with my medals i didn't dig into the ground with a force you would remember but still i fought back, and the organ hurt some of us and without question, i was among them whooa the seeds are missing left atop the west jonesboro bridge whereupon the roosters crowed loudly and engulfed their stomachs like a twist oh i have no doubt she says that this mission will be successful i take it upon the youth to lead us there my shoes are old the soles have melted away this hot alabama sun if my feet can't walk how can my mouth make song? at this point in time i'd trade a bible for an anvil but no shame is coming, no rain is coming no fame is coming not that either i said pray, just try your hardest to stay on earth with us here Oooooooh do you hear that it's nothing to fear as a matter of fact it's nothing at all nothing at all i will still name you and that you can't avoid so try try not to run try not to run run and hide you know i'll miss you so Please don't go
7.
so im here all or nothing i haven't done anything wrong but the keys that i hold have unlocked the doors for so long is it all my fault did i wait too long and my past is a freight train headed straight for the atlantic sea all my memories left me and time has dissolved into my fists will it be missed can i take the risk if you could split me in half would you? would you find my insides truly better than the man i should be i'm so scared that my hands will cling tight like the roots of a tree i've never written a book not a single one but i've taken my notes down slowly and long dragged my pen through the ink the till the letters all bleed and go through to the next page rosemary hates the sage but you loved to read and the words were your lips you hated some and you loved some but the meaning still stuck and came out the other side whether or not you could hide it if you could split me in half would you? would you find my insides truly better than the man i should be i'm so scared that my hands will cling tight like the roots of a tree
8.
After 07:49
i once read somewhere that small is beautiful everything is put together everything is put together i read it on the side of a temple i found you could crack it open i wanted to get inside i wanted to get inside so i remained persistent held my clippings tight in my grasp i knocked until my head hurt i knocked until my hands bled it oozed everywhere i tried to contain it but a part of me didn’t want to but a part of me didn’t want to i evened out the spaces i prepared so well nothing would stop me nothing would stop me so i walked i walked for a really long time, it felt like forever but i kept on walking i kept on walking but i kept on walking i kept on walking
9.
you were born full and alive and when you learned to walk you knew you would find all the glow and glitter proper in the world we know today so you found yourself just tinkering with the words you wanted to say until a flash directed you and we then crossed paths by the crooked corner where the fawn will take a bath and every once in a while i would see you smile you’re old and reckless and you never knew your name but the crickets would repeat it for you until you went insane you’ll find yourself inside a cellar and the only one who waits is your valiant old father who’s never one complained but you live alone and i see you on tuesdays in the rain that is the only day that the weather lives in vain but still sometimes, beguiled oh i would see you smile oh i would see you smile oh i would see you smile oh i would see you smile and i’d hate myself oh i would see you smile oh i would see you smile oh i would see you smile and i’d hate myself

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released June 1, 2016

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Steven Leftovers Dallas, Texas

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