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No Dreams

by Steven Leftovers

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1.
in a field on your couch i am terrified of it all with bloody nose or rabid mouth i am terrified of it all in a dakota or the south i am terrified of it all and on a crooked path i will go why worry about the pieces when you can instead worry about the whole sleeping pills bedroom swell i am terrified of it all my grandfather died and he went to hell and i am terrified of it all rugrats in paris kenan and kel i am terrified of it all and on a crooked path i will go why worry about the pieces when you can instead worry about the whole ooooo i am terrified of it all
2.
Rubberband 01:34
i can feel it coming coming inside
3.
listen to the words i have become put them in the chorus of your song trimming my nails as a nervous habit you can hear it through the phone it remains cold in the winter and our government acts alone yeah from far away i hear you scream over the loudspeakers i hear you scream expect salutations in the hall take them with you; i will never call you can bet on that i guarantee something i'll steal that's always free i'll spend some time just missing out i’ll stay at home cultivate the drought trimming my nails as a nervous habit and i got down to the bone and it pains me to continue but i’m here in the unknown and from far away i hear you scream over the loudspeakers i hear you scream
4.
when you gonna make it to the big times? when you gonna come up a star i know a lot of people who need it to sleep but they won't ever get as far as you red white and blue you were alive inside but now you’re dead in a tomb yeah you in that earthquake mood boundless talent; bull tattoo when you gonna make it out of portland? when you gonna come down to LA i know a lot of people who'd cry at the thought that they could come from farther than further away as you know how to soothe you will fit a groove until 2002 yeah you one day you might lose the boundless talent; the bull tattoo
5.
you would love it and i would be there and it would hurt you you're bitter, angry in a waiting room in des moines i ignore your incoming call no no no no you would sleep tight and i would haunt you in your prettiest dream you you're halloween scary when we die like everybody else we give back what we took for ourselves no no no no and sometimes the lights dim down and i still see the frown on your pierrot face sometimes you learn in your bedroom that you don't love yourself anymore like you did when you were 8 sometimes you fall right through the way we all think of you and you are found in glass with your chuck taylors still on, they’re unclean moms and dads and kids in strollers walk beside you in the breeze no no no no
6.
i had lost the light during the day forgotten the path of my long way drove many miles stayed up real late abandoned god and took up fate for you for you i let seasons pass without a date kept the thermostat at 88 in my texas apartment in all i had in violet you; a copy of floyd's the wall you; an abandoned shopping mall for you for you i remained in jail for 10 more days i looked outside and saw your face opened my bag in springtime rain never put up my christmas tree for you for you i let seasons pass and fade away gave up caffeine got failing grades in classes i’d departed in engines never started you; everything that seems so small you; the parts that remain in all for you for you
7.
M 00:53
8.
i’d like to think new york has something that no one’s got and on that note, i think it’s something that i’ll want and i’d like to add that one of these days i’ll get shot piercing through my heart and drafting up a clot i’d like to think my hometown carries a disease something volatile that brings you to your knees making the pilgrimage i’m wary of the fleas that might end up being the vector, the seed i can imagine that in something there’s a lot and on occasion i can think that there is not well my bones can break and my halo, it can rot and might i add that one day i’ll get shot and the day before that day is christmas eve and the year is 2000 plus sixty three yeah i’d like to think that someday you won't leave yeah i’d like to think that someday you won’t leave yeah i’d like to think that someday you won’t leave
9.
it gets so hard sometimes it hurts sometimes things break apart and combust in little bursts sometimes your friends argue and your self-confidence goes awry and youre so scared of living but youre too scared to die and you can feel it in your bones you can see it in your eyes i find it entrenched in darkened corners or in the bluest of skies and at a point it becomes impossible and i know and that’s alright i'm so scared of living but i'm too scared to die i'm so scared of living but i’m too scared to die i’m so scared of living but i think i’m gonna try
10.
Punching Bag 05:20
sometimes i feel like a punching bag seasons change and i stay like that i’ll never speak up; i’ll never whisper in fact sometimes i feel like a punching bag sometimes i feel like a punching bag receive the impact to provide it back one day that blunt force will inflict a crack sometimes i feel like a punching bag
11.
Mothership 04:21
no smoking it scares me to death an end it would be so nice to sharply curve around the bend and glide on over to your house late at night all alone i see you in the south you and me we aren't unknown no smoking when i feel guilty and alive and in shock even when there's nothing left on the table to talk but you would keep my stomach out and searching in the dark it smokes me yes it smokes me because it is so hard

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released July 6, 2018

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Steven Leftovers Dallas, Texas

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